


forever

by mels



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 08:19:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19330702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mels/pseuds/mels
Summary: After Dan’s coming out it’s time for Phil to meet part of Dan’s family again - but now as his boyfriend. And perhaps it's also time for the next big step.





	forever

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this anon](https://phloridas.tumblr.com/post/185678551786/dude-im-actually-crying-rn-i-just-had-a-dream) that [claire](https://phloridas.tumblr.com/) got. so a special thank you to the anon and their dream for inspiring me to write this!
> 
> and a huge thank you to my friend and best beta in the world [sari](https://phastelpink.tumblr.com/) for helping me read through this! love you <3
> 
> written for the [phandomficfests](https://phandomficfests.tumblr.com/) ‘pride’ flash fest!

Phil can see from miles away how nervous Dan is. It’s easy to tell when you know him as well as Phil does. The wandering gaze, avoiding eye contact even with Phil, the way his fingers seem to always fidget with something - a loose string on his t-shirt, or folding the fabric of his jeans over and over on his thigh, or just a curl of hair at his temple. It’s mesmerising yet unsettling.

Phil places a hand softly on top of Dan’s. Dan flinches just a little but doesn’t pull his hand away. “It’s gonna be fine,” Phil says in a low tone. Dan doesn’t reply, doesn’t move to meet his eyes. He just keeps staring out the train window as he has for the past ten minutes or so. Phil looks around to make sure there’s still no one else in their part of the train, then he leans his cheek against Dan’s shoulder and sighs.

 

They sit like that for a long moment before Dan moves, only to lock fingers with Phil.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Phil repeats, rubbing his nose along Dan’s shoulder.

Dan sighs and then turns his head slightly towards him. “Yeah, I know, it’s just–“

“That you haven’t seen them since–“

“Since I came out, yeah,” Dan finishes in a lower voice than before.

Phil squeezes Dan’s hand for a beat. “I’m here with you every step of the way, you know.”

Dan sighs again and leans his head against Phil’s, his nose touching Phil’s forehead. “I know,” he murmurs.

 

Going to see Dan’s family wasn’t an easy decision for Dan. Phil knew Dan wants to reintroduce him to them after coming out, but he knows that in Dan’s head it doesn’t feel that simple. Dan’s family knows Phil, they know Phil is special to Dan, but they probably don’t realise how much he actually means to Dan - how much they _both_ mean to each other. And they most likely don’t know or realise that they have actually been dating for quite some time now - almost ten years.

The train journey from home to Dan’s family is overall painless. When they get closer to the station, however, Phil notices how Dan gets anxious again. He tries to calm him down by pulling Dan’s hand closer to him, but it’s all for nothing this time. Phil looks around the train again, and there’s people further ahead of them but they all seem busy with computers or phones, so he feels safe. He drops Dan’s hand and cups his face instead, forcing Dan to look at him.

“It will all go well, okay? Just breathe. I’m there with you through it.” His tone is more serious than he means to, but if it serves its purpose then that’s all good.

 

Dan refuses to look at him for a long time, eyes averted to Phil’s chest, but Phil stays put. Many minutes pass, then Dan looks at him as he draws a deep breath. “Yes, I know. I’m sorry I just–”

“It’s all right, you don’t need to be sorry. I know this is a big thing for you.” Phil puts his hands down and leans on Dan’s shoulder again, offering his hand for Dan to hold if he needs to. After a few minutes, Phil feels Dan’s fingers softly brush over his palm for a long, very nice moment before Dan’s fingers slip between his own.

It’s not like Dan’s family hasn't met Phil before, they just don’t know they’re– well, more than best friends. Dan doesn’t really like the term boyfriend, because as he’s told Phil, they’re much more than boyfriends - their love and support is something else. “I don’t like the term _soulmate_ either,” Dan has said multiple times, mocking the word _soulmate_ as he quickly spits it out.

“No, but it is the closest to what we are, right?” Phil had said.

Dan had smiled, “Yeah, we are.”

 

Phil is a bit nervous, too, even if he wouldn’t admit it in front of Dan. There are butterflies in his stomach, his whole body feels like a fizzy drink. Although, his nervousness is for a lot of other reasons than Dan’s. His way of showing that he’s antsy is also different. Phil doesn’t pace or fidget, like Dan does, he just holds it inside himself - like a shaken bottle of soda ready to explode at any time. Except he rarely explodes, though. Phil has ways to calm himself down and that’s what he’s trying to do right now, by trying to breathe slow and steady.

 

—

 

Meeting Dan’s family, or for now just his mum and grandma, feels different to him, and he can tell it feels a lot more different for Dan. They’re still the same, nice and chatty people, just like Phil remember them. Dan’s grandma instantly bombards Dan with a million questions about this and that, and Phil can’t keep up so he walks around the house for a bit.

It’s been a few years since he’s been here, Dan’s mum more often comes to them in London than they come here, but everything still looks the same. The house is quite big, but it has more of a cottage feel to it which makes it feel half its size. He steps in the living room, so he can still hear bits of the conversation going on in the hallway.

A sudden nudge at his ankle catches his attention. When he looks down, he’s met with a pair of big, dark brown eyes and a fast, wagging tail.

Phil laughs. “Oh, hi Colin!” He kneels down and Colin instantly reaches his paws up on Phil’s body. He licks Phil’s cheek, causing him to laugh even more.

“He likes you,” a female voice says from behind him, making him jump a bit. When Phil turns his head to look, Colin still licking his chin and neck, Dan’s mum, Karen, is standing by the door. Phil can still hear Dan chatting with his grandma in the background. “And I like you too, I’m really glad you joined Dan here today. We don’t see each other often enough.” She steps up behind Phil and places a hand on his shoulder for a short moment.

Phil’s not sure how to react, so he just smiles at her. Dan’s mum is the reason for his nervousness. Or it’s technically not her fault, but the fact that he wants to ask her something very important. But that’s for later, he thinks as a way to escape the anxiety creeping up on him now. He’s gonna talk to her, but now doesn’t really feel like the right moment - he doesn’t want Dan to overhear what he has to ask.

 

—

 

Later at night, they eat dinner at the kitchen table. Dan’s mum and grandma have cooked up a huge dinner - enough to feed a family of ten, meanwhile they’re only four at the table. There’s a constant conversation going on, most of it light-hearted and fun and Phil tries to join where he gets the chance to.

However, most of his focus is on a cautious Dan next to him. Phil keeps eating his dinner, but Dan’s leg nervous vibrating up and down next to him is distracting. So he does the only thing he knows to do when Dan is like this. Careful, as subtle as he can, he puts a hand on Dan’s leg. Phil hopes he’s the only one who sees how Dan flinches slightly.

 

He offers his hand for support, just like he did on the train earlier today. Dan just looks at him for a moment, before he hesitantly and as discreet as possible puts his hand under the table, to then intertwine their fingers loosely. Phil studies Dan’s mum and grandma the whole time, but they’re too deep into some discussion about flowers to notice. Dan grips tighter to Phil’s hand, not so that he could crush bones but it’s still a firm grip. In an attempt to calm him down, Phil starts rubbing soft circles with his thumb on the top of Dan’s hand. Just a few moments he feels Dan’s hand relax in his.

Phil watches as Dan inhales deeply, then exhales for a long beat before he speaks. “Mum,” he says in a way to get his mum’s attention, and she turns to him with a curious expression. “Phil,” he tries and looks at Phil, “is my– my boyfriend.”

 

For the short moment she’s silent, Phil senses the way Dan goes tense and his leg starts jumping in short, nervous motions again. Phil hugs his hand with his own and when that doesn’t work, he nudges Dan with his elbow, though that does nothing either.

It feels like a whole eternity before Dan’s mum finally smiles and says, “I’m so happy for you guys!” When Dan doesn’t say anything back, she adds, “Of course I am, Daniel. All I ever want for you is to be happy.” She reaches a hand across the table and squeezes Dan’s other hand.

 

Dan deflates in his seat, relaxing his fingers against Phil’s hand. “Thank you, mum,” Dan mumbles and looks at her with a soft expression.

She turns to Phil. “Same goes for you,” she says and looks between the two of them, “I’m so proud of you both.” She grabs for Phil’s hand and Phil lets her take it.

“Thank you,” he says with a shy smile.

Dan’s grandma looks at them too, grinning widely. She doesn’t say anything, but she nods and it’s easy to tell she is approving.

 

—

 

After dinner, Dan and Phil sit down in the living room to watch TV. Phil’s leg touches Dan’s, and neither of them pulls away, happy they can do this without thinking now. Dan allows his hand to rest casually on Phil’s knee, and Phil lets his hand rest on top. Sure, they can’t do things like this just about anywhere, but places where it feels safe for the moment being - it just feels really nice give some affection in other places than just when they’re at home.

Phil doesn’t really pay attention to whatever is on TV, he knows it’s some “Mission Impossible” movie only because he can hear the theme tune. His mind is further away than the living room. Not too far, though, because he’s thinking about how he can excuse himself to go talk to Dan’s mum. His body tingles nervously at the thought of what he wants to ask her, but it’s now or never.

He squeezes Dan’s hand as he says, “I’ll be right back.” Dan only nods, but he can feel his eyes on his back the whole time until he knows Dan can’t see him anymore.

 

Phil goes down the hall to the bathroom first, mostly because if he’s gonna have a minor breakdown he’s better off here. He locks the door and looks into the mirror, hands gripping the sides of the sink, and takes a deep breath, letting the air out as slow as he can.

He’s really gonna do this. He’s really gonna ask Dan’s mum for her blessing to marry him. Just the words swimming in his head right now sends his whole body anxiously shaking. He looks away, looking at himself shaking will just make things worse. Phil feels his heart beating faster with every second that passes. He turns the tap on and splashes some cold water on his face, wiping the excess off with the back of his hand. Then he looks in the mirror again, draws a breath that’s surprisingly steady, and walks out of the bathroom.

 

When Phil walks into the kitchen, Dan’s mum is doing the dishes. She hums a tune that sounds familiar to him, but he can’t place it. His brain is spinning too much for him to even ask her about that, he needs to remember what he came here to talk to her about.

He inhales deeply, clears his throat and joins her at the kitchen sink. “Hi, Karen” he blurts out.

“Oh, hi Phil!”

“Am I interrupting?”

“No, no,” she laughs, as she wipes hair away from her face with her arm. “Something on your mind?” Karen picks up a plate through the foam in the sink and starts scrubbing it.

“Yeah, actually, uhm I– I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh?”

Phil keeps his eyes locked on her hands moving the brush up and down the plate. He tries to keep his voice levelled, not too high in case Dan listens but not too low because he doesn’t want it to be obvious that he’s trying to keep down.

 

“So, as you know, I care very much about Dan. Like, deeply.” He pauses and looks up, sees that she’s nodding, so he continues. “I’ve never cared this much about anyone before. There’s this– this deep connection we have that’s so special, like we’re– actually soulmates. I will always care for Dan, I’ll always be there for him no matter what. I wanna give him all my love for– forever. I’m so proud of how far he’s come and how well he’s doing now,” Phil has to stop because he realises how close to tears he is.

He wipes at his eyes, giving Dan’s mum a few moments to process what he just said. She doesn’t say anything, and she doesn’t look disapproving so far, so Phil decides to just say what he came here to say. He’s careful with his tone again, keeping it as low as he can when he speaks. “Which is why I– I wanna ask for your blessing to marry Dan.”

Karen looks like she’s about to drop the plate, but then grips tighter to it. “Oh my! _Phil!_ ” She exclaims, a grin spreading across her face. “Of course. Of course you can!”

Karen puts the plate down next to the sink and dries her hands on the closest towel. Then she walks up and embraces him, hugs him tight. Phil returns the hug, albeit kind of hesitantly. When she pulls away, she’s smiling warmly at him. “You have my blessing, Phil,” she says.

Phil grins, and says, “Thank you, Karen.”

 

Phil leaves her to finish in the kitchen and goes back to join Dan at the couch again.

“What was that all about? I just heard my mum get all fuzzy about something, but I didn’t hear what,” Dan says, eyeing Phil suspiciously.

“Nothing,” Phil lies, voice too high to be truthful.

Dan snorts. “You’re such a bad liar, Phil Lester.”

Phil says nothing more, and surprisingly enough Dan doesn’t push him. They just sit there, cuddled up next to each other and watch the rest of “Mission Impossible”.

 

—

 

The week after they went to see Dan’s family, they went to look at a house just outside London. Their search for a forever home has been an ongoing process for quite a few years now. They almost bought a house that was completely run down, because they thought renovating a house would be a fun adventure. When they heard someone had died there, though, that idea was scrapped instantly. They could never live in a haunted house.

But the house they ended up buying is– in Phil’s opinion, it's their dream home. It’s rather perfect; it has lots of outdoor space, many rooms inside the house for guestrooms or storage or office - whatever they wanna turn it into. The bottom floor has a big lounge, with an old fireplace that still works, and a kitchen, plus some smaller rooms for storage.

 

The kitchen is a classic, rustic kitchen with dark wood cabinets and stone tiles on the floor. It’s spacious, just like the rest of the house, but it’s not too big nor too small. The kitchen island is the best feature, Phil thinks, because it also acts like a breakfast bar with stools on one side and he loves that. A staircase in the kitchen leads up to the top floor where there are four rooms, that they’re gonna use for bedroom, guestrooms, maybe an office and of course a gaming room.

The outside space offers a large porch and huge garden, where Dan instantly saw potential for a koi pond and of course a Corgi - or two. “Perhaps, in the future, even a pool,” he’d added too, and the butterflies already fluttering in Phil’s stomach had started doing backflips. This really could be theirs, a forever home, a dream come true.

Needless to say, they both fell in love with this house on the spot and told the real estate agent that they wanted to put in an offer on it immediately. Their offer was accepted pretty quickly, and just a few days later they signed the paper and now it’s _theirs_.

 

Sitting in the master bedroom on their bed now, thinking back to the moment they first stepped in here, it all feels a bit unreal. This really is _theirs_. A home. Something to grow a family in. Phil couldn’t be happier and, looking at Dan who’s now studying him, he can tell Dan is happy too. He seems content, smiling and gazing around with a love drunk, but exhausted, expression.

“I could fall asleep like this right now, sitting up,” Dan says tiredly, swaying a bit.

Phil hums. “Me too.”

Dan puts a hand on Phil’s leg. “Just wanna cuddle up and sleep.”

 

They’re tired from carrying boxes all day. The only thing they managed, with much effort, to put together was the bed. That only because they needed somewhere to sleep and a couch didn’t seem like a good option.

Phil still has one mission left for today, though. He didn’t plan this very well, but he just knew when he asked Dan’s mum for permission to marry Dan, that once they’d bought a house he would do it. And the first day in their new home, no matter how tired he might be, seems like an appropriate time.

 

He stands up and draws a long, shaky breath.

“Phil?” Dan says.

“Let me just–”

Phil pulls out a small, black, velvet covered box and goes down on one knee.

“Oh my God,” Dan gasps, throwing his hands on top of his mouth. “No way!”

“Dan, you are the most brilliant person I know. You’re everything I want in a person. You are _my person_. I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone like you, no matter how cheesy that sounds,” Phil says and lets out a nervous chuckle. “So, if you want to, too, I want to spend forever with you.” He inhales again, opens the little box and pops it onto Dan’s knee, and says, “Daniel James Howell, will you give me the honour of marrying you?”

 

Dan doesn’t say anything for a beat, two beats, three, and Phil starts doubting he’ll ever speak again. He can’t believe Dan is actually silent. Dan isn’t one to keep his mouth shut for more than five seconds, so this speechlessness worries Phil slightly. Maybe Dan doesn’t want to get married? The silence is killing Phil, suffocating him slowly, leaving him breathless in a way that makes his whole body feel unstable.

Then he sees Dan wipe away tears from his cheeks, before saying, “Of course I will, you idiot!”

Phil blinks stupidly. “Really?”

Dan laughs. “Yes!”

Phil can exhale, the biggest sigh of relief he’s ever let out in his whole life.

Phil takes the ring out and Dan stretches his fingers out for him. Phil let’s the ring slide easily onto Dan’s finger.

“Thought you might like this one, black and blue.” The ring itself is thin and black on the outside with a silver inlining, and has a deep, indigo blue stone in the middle.

“God, Phil, it’s stunning!”

Phil laughs then, all the stress pouring off of him much like a waterfall. He drops the box on the floor and practically throws himself over Dan. He pins Dan down to the mattress, attaching his lips to Dan’s. He trails kisses along Dan’s jawline and down his neck and back up again. Phil only stops when he needs to breathe, though Dan barely allows him to, only pulls him back down to kiss him deeper and deeper.

 

In the end, they’re just a tangled mess. Phil is half on top of Dan, wrapped up in Dan’s arms, and Phil’s lips still leaving small, lazy kisses on whatever part of Dan’s skin he can find.

No matter how many times they’ve kissed before, sometimes it still feels like the first time again. That rumbling feeling in his stomach, the way their lips meet and just fit together perfectly, how Dan’s gently touches his skin and how carefully Phil strokes away Dan’s forehead. Everything suddenly feels the same as it did almost ten years ago, not much has changed but yet everything has changed.

“I love you,” Dan mumbles, and Phil can tell he’s almost asleep by now.

Phil smiles against Dan’s neck, “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> my [tumblr](fondestphan.tumblr.com) // if you wanna reblog this fic you can do so [here](https://fondestphan.tumblr.com/post/185796966875/forever-after-dans-coming-out-its-time-for-phil)!


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